Drops of Dust

Warning this is not going to be a short post and neither does it promise to be an easy read. Although it most probably will entertain(due to my characteristic lack of cohesion)

the sun sets slowly over le mans....the last gasps of light trickle across the race track of one of the worlds most extra-ordinary sporting events. High performance engineering marvels flirt with disaster as they gleam across the track. The 24hr race moves into night mode as the pale French sun is replaced by glittering lights of motor sport.... i love this time in the race. I love this race, and i guess that why the engineering spirit runs strong in me. The vast and intricate world of design, material selection, aero-dynamics, fluid mechanics, fascinates me. The merging of the spheres of maths and physics is truly inspiring. What can be achieved through the application of what i am constantly, on a daily basis, being fed by my faculty, serves as a rare inspiration to slave on in this crazy degree!!

crazy i say, because it is this degree which has dealt me on eo f the harshest lessons of my life..Intelligence is something Allah SWT has granted to a lucky few, and i must admit i count myself amongst those privileged few. Do not mistake me please, i am no boff by any stretch of imagination, but to deny and discount what Allah has granted me would be blasphemous. Do not mistake also, this post for a bragging opportunity. If you are inclined to think that, i ask you to read on, until that perception is corrected.

Through the last 14 years of my short life, i have come to rely increasingly on my ability to pick up a syllabus the night before an exam, apply acute concentration to it, study it from scratch, and pass the next day. It is an skill i have refined over the last few years. Each time slashing the time i set aside to study further-pushing the boundaries all the time- setting new studying records- and then

BANG

its no longer there. I'm no longer sailing. Its 2nd year engineering exams and bam, i've thundered into a mental wall. The wind has been unceremoniously sucked from my sails. It happens exam after exam. I study the day and night before like an animal, as has been my routine for years, walk into the paper the next day, and get savagely taken apart. Exam after exam after exam. This is definitely not according to the script im thinking.

My response? Rewrite the script naturally. Or rather attempt to. I set off with the aim of 'burning the mid-night oil' and 'pulling the hours,' only to discover my prolonged dependence on intelligence has ingrained in me a laziness unrivaled. It turns out to be terribly hard to sit at the books for longer than 2 hours at a stretch. My mind is so easily seduced into other far less relevant thoughts.

There is a strong possibility that my resulting dismal performance in this june exams will prove to be fatal. At least to my hope that i complete my degree in the minimum time. Allah knows best always.

The fatality i think can trace its roots to back to a sense of taking things for granted. Perhaps, and let it be known i am not proud of this, but perhaps i began to take my ability to study the night before and pass, for granted. Needless to say, that has been painfully corrected. I intend to instill some consistency in my work ethic henceforth. However, i do live in the hope that there is truth in the saying, 'Form is temporary, but class is permanent,' and that i shall return someday to that blistering mental form.(coupled with a far deeper appreciation of it insha-Allah)

there was another, equally a profound lesson that i learnt during this exam- but thats something i shall expand upon later in this post.

Its been over 3hours since i began writing this,(stopped and restarted many a time), and darkness has engulfed the le mans 24hr track. Neon lights are beamed in from all directions and the scene resembles something one might see in the 'Fast and Furious.' The difference though, is this not the superficial kind. Agreed, it is essentially about money, but its almost equally about the engineering prowess, tactical planning and endurance driving. The superficial kind of neon light is something that has been on my mind a lot in recent days and i have somewhat of a bucket load to say about it...

the previous week marked the 40th 'anniversary' of the Palestinian Nakbah. I use the word anniversary rather hesitantly, because it tends to suggest something joyous and positive, in complete contradiction to the plight of the Palestinian people. This 40th year since that great evil was marked internationally by protests and rallies. More of the same thing we have seen for these 40 years, and more disturbingly, the same people we have seen for these 40years. The only changes time has brought are the increases in white hair amongst the participants heads, and an overall drop in numbers. This is the sad reality. The worrying absence of younger people from these displays of solidarity is just one indication of a growing problem in our society.

Our generation, this wave of young people, both broader south African and Muslim youth, are in critical danger of being set down in history as the creators and perpetrators of the world of plastic. We are dangerously close to cementing our place sin the history books as champions of the shallowness. History will show that we are responsible for the spread of a philosophy that must at some point result in the undoing of society at large. Are we going to allow this to happen without even the weakest of attempts to resist?....gna sleep, creative juices drying up, will finish tomorrow maybe...