Drops of Dust
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Monday, June 18, 2007
how can i study, when the girl i love(she doesnt kno that) tells me this.....
So i have groundbreaking confession to make.....those of you who have the idea you know me, will probably have all those notions rubbished and dispatched with a sense of shock.
2years ago, something happened to me which i still cannot believe at times, something which was to become the beginning of the proof that i am human....very much so...
in short, simple language that speaks volumes, i fell in love...
Now yes i am well aware about the debates around true love, when it is born, and from where it stems and how theses ideas differ with our society's generally accepted notion of love. I am acutely aware of the usual scathing criticism that is leveled at the idea of falling in love. I am aware also of the Islamic position on these delicate issues.....but my feelings seem oblivious to this 'logic.'
Despite my greatest and innovative efforts to convince myself that what i have been feeling is nothing but an illusion, i have failed dismally.... i love this girl too much...
and tonight, a night when i require full concentration in studying for my applied mechanics paper tomorrow, when she tells me she is intending to attend a really special event in her life with someone else, i cannot help but want to cry...
i had always cherished the hope and dream of being the one at her side on this day...
im just sad, really sad, that she did not fight for me to be that person, like she once promised she would...in all fairness to her, it would have been an ugly and difficult fight against the powers that be....but profound emotion is sometimes worth the sacrifice....
i cannot explain the feeling of emptiness and hurt i felt as i forced myself to smile, against every fibre in my body, and tell her i am happy for her, and that she must make the best of this special day...
i love her...in a world in which i endure, daily, an unnerving sense of loneliness, the idea of being with her someday was a hope i treasured, despite many indications that what i was clinging to was false hope....at least that uncertainty has been laid to rest.
some will call this 'upsetness' of mine a folly, maybe it is, but i cannot see how an illusion could hurt this much...
in case you were wondering, she and i were once together, but the cruelties of the world ended that happiness...she owned my heart then...and she still does today...though she knows it not, and probably never will...:(
2years ago, something happened to me which i still cannot believe at times, something which was to become the beginning of the proof that i am human....very much so...
in short, simple language that speaks volumes, i fell in love...
Now yes i am well aware about the debates around true love, when it is born, and from where it stems and how theses ideas differ with our society's generally accepted notion of love. I am acutely aware of the usual scathing criticism that is leveled at the idea of falling in love. I am aware also of the Islamic position on these delicate issues.....but my feelings seem oblivious to this 'logic.'
Despite my greatest and innovative efforts to convince myself that what i have been feeling is nothing but an illusion, i have failed dismally.... i love this girl too much...
and tonight, a night when i require full concentration in studying for my applied mechanics paper tomorrow, when she tells me she is intending to attend a really special event in her life with someone else, i cannot help but want to cry...
i had always cherished the hope and dream of being the one at her side on this day...
im just sad, really sad, that she did not fight for me to be that person, like she once promised she would...in all fairness to her, it would have been an ugly and difficult fight against the powers that be....but profound emotion is sometimes worth the sacrifice....
i cannot explain the feeling of emptiness and hurt i felt as i forced myself to smile, against every fibre in my body, and tell her i am happy for her, and that she must make the best of this special day...
i love her...in a world in which i endure, daily, an unnerving sense of loneliness, the idea of being with her someday was a hope i treasured, despite many indications that what i was clinging to was false hope....at least that uncertainty has been laid to rest.
some will call this 'upsetness' of mine a folly, maybe it is, but i cannot see how an illusion could hurt this much...
in case you were wondering, she and i were once together, but the cruelties of the world ended that happiness...she owned my heart then...and she still does today...though she knows it not, and probably never will...:(
posted by irshaad at 3:33 PM
7 Comments:
no words will band-aid you today.
the heart is resilient though it may seem far from it right now.
o.u.c.h.. heartache is one of the not-so-nice rites of passage. saals is right. i dont know you but you're stronger than you think. best of luck.
hmmm love sigh gudluk honey
and you will make it through coz i knw you a stronge on :D mwah
since the blogger diva's have commented i shaall comment aswell. Nice blog bru.
About the post I really feel sorry for you man that is extreme heartache, i can only imagine. Saals is right (she is a wise cat lady..just joking)
Just make dua, ypu will make it through this and you will find another to love. Dont worry man be strong
thanks guys:) really appreciate it
rant and rave all u want we bloggers stick together... and are always there...
i cant say much BUT everyything will be ok.. everything is in the hands of Allah and just leave it up to him...
dude! is this an indian movie or what!!
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